Reflection & Purpose

Today, January 1, 2017, we get to start fresh with a new year.  Last year was certainly interesting to say the least.  America elected a new president after an extremely long and arduous, election process.  A process that started way too early back in 2015.  We continue to see violence grow globally that is masked by jaded religious principles and we lost an unusual amount of iconic entertainers.  Quite simply, its been a long, hard, and peculiar year.  

On a personal level, I turned 47 in 2016, joined a new software startup company, and competed in the Muncie 70.3 Ironman.  While 2016 may have been turbulent for a lot of folks, it was a year of purpose for me.  As I wrote in previous blogs, the Muncie 70.3 Ironman was dedicated to a monumental figure in my life, Bill Fred Haecker.  It provided me with a laser-focused goal that began in early January and ended on warm July weekend. I must admit that since finishing the race, I have felt slightly lost.  I had so much purpose in the training that it kept my compass pointed forward.  Over the past five months, that same compass has been sending me in a variety of directions.  While I have direction in my professional life, the void of direction, specifically from an athletic perspective, in my personal life leaves me feeling lost and in search of, well...purpose.

After last years race, I did make the statement that I am officially retiring from long-distance triathlons.  The race literally beat the Hell out of me.  I was sore, chaffed, and completely ragged.  However, I did feel a monumental amount of accomplishment.  It wasn't my first 70.3 but the purpose behind it meant so much to me personally. At the time I thought, "how can you ever compete in another one of these when this particular one has so much meaning?".   I now realize that the race in Muncie won't lose its luster if I do another.  Nothing can replace the overwhelming feeling that race provided.  It was for Fred and will always will be!

Throughout my life, a common thread has been training for something that culminated in an end-goal.  Whether it was tennis or triathlon training, I've always strived toward a goal in the form of a tournament or race.  I now realize that I shouldn't back away from this approach but rather embrace it.  I understand that I'm not the fastest or best athlete any longer, if I ever was, but I am someone who enjoys the process.  Sure, it can sometimes be monotonous, painful, or just plain boring but it points my compass forward.  This is something my mind and body both need as it makes me feel centered, focused, and complete.  It helps to improve every aspect of my life and eliminates the noise and confusion of the world around us.  

So what will 2017 bring?  In addition to tying to be the best husband, father, and friend my goals this year are to: 

• Train & compete in the Augusta 70.3 Ironman September 24th
• Stand my company up as a premier partner in the analytics management arena by December
• Take the GMAT and enter the Ole Miss MBA Program in May
• Live a healthier & happy lifestyle on a daily basis
• Learn and become proficient in French (by Dec), Italian (by Dec), and Spanish (by May)

In addition to the measurable goals above, I will also work to create balance between home, work, & life daily.  I will do this by taking time each morning to create a calm space, one that is a space of "sacred silence".  I will use this it to reflect on what I'm grateful for; what I'm excited about and looking forward to doing that particular day; identifying my purpose and ensuring my plans connect me to it; and lastly, who can I reach out to and serve.  

I'm optimistically hopeful that 2017 will be a great year and I will strive to make it better by serving each day with purpose through my thoughts, words, and actions.  Let the year begin!

Thunderous Silence - The Art of Quieting Your Mind

I should start this out by saying that in no way, form, or fashion am I a sport psychologist. However, I am someone who grew up playing competitive sports. One that struggled mightily with controlling the chaos in my mind during competition.

In a singular, as well as slightly narcissistic, sports like tennis and long-distance triathlons, the internal chaos of fear, uncertainty, and doubt can be crippling. I've often described my personal situation as something similar to the radio in my 1979 Camaro. It had dials that you tuned in the station and sometimes it would register it perfectly and other times it was just slightly off. I, unfortunately, was one of those kids that had a brain that struggled to get the station locked in. I would almost be on target but it was a constant struggle to clear the static. This manifested itself in sports when I would let the lack of confidence creep in, which often resulted in negative outcomes. Now I could take the easy road and blame my parents for the poor parental lifestyle choices they made in the late '60s and early '70s, and often I do. But, truth be told, it’s a waste of energy. I don't feel placing blame would be positive or necessarily changes the outcome. The reality is that I am the one who is in control of my situation, especially in my head, regardless of whether it’s sports, work, or life-related.

Two phrases I use quite frequently for my own personal benefit to help "dial in my radio" include "thunderous silence" and "quiet your mind". The juxtaposition "thunderous silence" to hone in the competitive fury needed to succeed and "quiet your mind" to silence the negative chatter and self-doubt that can ultimately creep inside my head during a stressful match or the latter phases of a triathlon. I'm a true believer that the mind gives out long before the body will and that there is always a "little more' in the tank than you might think to exist. The key is to put to rest this negative noise and forging forward toward your goals. For me, its reminding myself to quiet my mind of the chaos and leverage the thunderous silence to persevere. It’s my own little recipe of what most people call mindfulness, which is a form of meditation. Essentially, it's a simple and effective way to gain control of the fearful and unruly thoughts that can plague an athlete.

If you are an athlete of any kind seeking a mental competitive edge, especially a tennis player or a triathlete, two great books to read include "Tennis: Winning the Mental Edge" by Allen Fox, Ph.D. and "Iron War: Dave Scott, Mark Allen, and the Greatest Race Ever Run" by Matt Fitzgerald. While they both center on specific sports, the value they deliver deals with the mental fortitude to win in any sport. I have read both multiple times and often refer back to them for helpful hints as I prepare today.

What strategies do you use to settle your thoughts?