The Redheaded Stranger!

As the mid-90s rolled around, I was still struggling to make ends meet and was finding some semblance of success working for a small computer reseller. I had my sights set on eventually working for Compaq Computer but still lacking my degree kept me from even taking the leap. Lance, or Tyler as we called him then, was 3, and Blake while living in Livingston had not yet joined our family. I quickly recognized that I needed to start making some changes to improve our quality of life. I needed some kind of spark and no sooner than that wish being made, I got one in June of 1995 with the birth of my son Luke.

I was in a relationship with Alisa Murray, who I had been dating for a few years and we were expecting our first child together. Needless to say, Luke was a total surprise. What I mean by that is that we were expecting a girl the entire time Alisa was pregnant. This determination was made after several ultrasounds. Yet, on June 14, 1995, a red-headed, freckle-faced boy announced himself to the world. To this day, I am still baffled at how this fact was missed over the 9 months during Alisa’s pregnancy. When Luke came out Alisa’s mom Pam, screamed: “Oh my God its a boy!” I still get a chuckle out of that moment because the entire hospital floor heard the news when Pam opened up the pipes. It was absolutely hilarious and a story for the ages. The icing on the cake was that night, the Houston Rockets won their second NBA title.

When Luke came into my life, it was just the nudge I need to start taking leaps regardless of having my degree at the time or not. I soon would leave the small reseller for a national distributor, not the best choice in the world, but a choice none the less that was the stepping stone to the next big leap when I would join Compaq in 1997. It would take a few years and hard lumps to find my footing but I soon would be off and running.

I am very proud of all four of my boys as they all offer very unique gifts to the world and Luke is no different. Like my father and grandmother, he has red hair and freckles. He also possesses a sixth sense with animals, which is similar to my grandfather on my mothers side of the family. He announced his presence to the world with a bang and hasn’t missed a beat in his 25 years. He was my little redheaded stranger, surprising us from the beginning and he would stay close to my every step year after year. To this day, we have a strong bond and I know he will carry on our legacy with the great things he will one day deliver to the world. So my advice to all those who yet to meet Luke is “lookout” because a rowdy good time is on the way!

27 of 50 - 1995

There to Here

In 1994 I was a young dad struggling to make ends meet. Even though it was a constant struggle, I never lost focus on my educational goals. However, the reality of achieving those dreams any time soon felt as if I was being faced with a full headwind with no clear map to navigate my way to the successful completion of these goals.

Today, 26 years later, that path has become has finally become crystal clear. A few weeks back, I decided to apply to the University of Mississippi Graduate School in their MBA program and this past week, I was notified that I have been accepted for the Fall term. To describe my feelings as surprised, excited, or relieved would be a gross understatement. This is the culmination of many years of hard work and faith along with the wonderful support of friends and family. So in concert with my 50 posts of my 50 years, I thought I would share my “Statement of Purpose” that I wrote as part of my application. This essentially tells the story of my life from 1988 through today but I felt it was only fitting as it accurately describes how I got from There to Here.

Stephen M Campbell – Statement of Purpose

The decision to pursue my MBA has changed and evolved over the years. It has always been a goal to achieve this milestone and hold myself to a higher standard and commitment to excellence in my field. A decade ago, my motivation was centered on the promotion of position and expansion of earning potential. At that time, I interviewed with Wharton School of Business at Penn University and Kellogg at Northwestern. Both of these excellent programs would have been ideal for these goals, especially in the technology sector. However, today my drive for obtaining my MBA is about transformation, career fulfillment, and building upon the knowledge I’ve gained over the years to expand it into action.

Selecting a high-quality program is about investing in a piece of history and community. By pursuing my MBA at the University of Mississippi, I would be joining my wife, who is not only an employee but also nearing the completion of her Ph.D. and our son, who graduated in 2018 with a B.S in Geology. To be an investor in a community, you have to be a member; otherwise, you are just an observer. I am choosing to be involved, and this would strengthen the community, both within our family as well as my professional surroundings.

Fortunately, I have grown both personally and professionally over the past 30 years. My responsibilities, titles, and compensation have developed strengths from roles such as senior manager, senior director, and eventually my current position as vice president overseeing a global business unit. While success requires an MBA in most cases, my pattern of growth is based on the merit of my work ethic and understanding of the business landscape within my industry. The UM Graduate School will help expand my understanding of business and potentially put me in a position to share the knowledge I’ve gained throughout my career with future industry leaders.

My path to this point has been a long journey that started in 1988. At that time, my goal was to gain top-level certification as a tennis teaching professional along with a B.A. in Business Administration so I could one day start and run an elite-level tennis academy. However, not all journeys are smooth or straight and mine took a few alternate routes along the way.

Becoming a father in the 1990s, I chose to put my education on hold until a more appropriate time. To support my family, I took a warehouse position with a technology reseller, which set me on a completely different course. Finding myself in an evolving industry, I soon began to dream about joining the Compaq Computer Company, recognizing the impact it would have in the coming years. I worked my way from the warehouse to the sales department, where I was able to exceed all expectations and financial milestones. The experience I gained put me in a position to eventually join Compaq as a consultant where I would fast-track to an account executive. After the turn of the century, I quickly recognized the future of technology was in the software that better economized traditional business models. When a software startup out of Silicon Valley came knocking, I jumped on board. That decision to join VMware quickly ignited my career. Even though I had not yet achieved my bachelor's degree, I never lost sight of my original goal. As the company successfully grew, I recognized a reduction in time spent on many parts of the business and focused on my primary responsibilities. This created the ideal moment to invest in my continued education where I would go on to graduate Summa Cum Laude from Letourneau University in 2011. Up until this point, having no degree never hindered my trajectory, but it always remained in front of mind as a missed opportunity. One I was set on completing. Obtaining my degree opened up a world of possibilities, and no longer was I relying on just luck or work ethic. I now had the foundation to go beyond and reach heights I once thought impossible without it.

I have certainly taken the road less traveled, but by doing so, I have been a key contributor to a small business, a corporate giant, and four successful software start-ups, who have achieved massive financial success. Along the way, I've encountered a few obstacles, but my desire and aspirations in my original goal from 1988 have never wavered. As part of this commitment, I recently completed my certification in the Professional Tennis Registry. By achieving my MBA from the University of Mississippi, I will set a new foundation to one day start an elite tennis academy, ultimately writing the next chapter in my life story which moves like a long and winding road.

26 of 50 - 1994

Hell Freezes Over

This week’s post is supposed to be focused on 1993 but something truly historic took place here in Mississippi and I felt compelled to write about it. While this is a few days late, I it was worth waiting a couple of extra days to truly take in the reality that the State of Mississippi voted to take down the divisive flag that has flown over the her for the past 126 years. Honestly, my first reaction was that Hell must have frozen over.

Mississippi was the last state in the nation to still display a Confederate battle emblem. This has long been viewed as divisive and representing the few not the many. I’m from the Great State of Texas, where we are extremely proud of our flag, so I understand the passion people may have had, misguided as it was. However, this state has suffered economically to education and it was time for change. It was time for unification of all people of Mississippi. Sadly, it took the wrongful death of George Floyd as well as many others who have been murdered to wake the nation and eventually open the eyes of those here in the state. We shouldn’t have to lose lives to make positive change. Instead, we should strive to make the world around us a better place through kindness, empathy, and selfless acts of humility.

I have lived in Mississippi for a little over 5 years but never called it home. However, after the historic vote this past weekend in Jackson, I am now proud to call this not only my home but the state where I choose to live. There is still a lot of work to do but this was a monumental step towards progress. A few weeks back, the University of Mississippi began work to relocate a Confederate statue from the Circle in front of the Lyceum to a Civil War Cemetery. Again, a step forward in unifying all students and people of Mississippi. We shouldn’t forget the painful past but rather learn from it so that we don’t repeat it.

It’s not clear what flag will fly but the voters will have a few choices to select from in November. I’m personally a big fan of the the Stennis Flag, which I included as the photo for this post. Mississippi is an absolutely beautiful state that has so much to offer. It’s time for the nation to see all these wonderful qualities versus being reminded of the past. My hope is that by taking down and replacing the flag, this will be the first step in healing and growth for all who call this magnificent state home.

25 of 50 - 1993

Father's Day

Today is Father’s Day so it is only fitting that I find myself writing my weekly post. In 1992 I was literally a new dad with absolutely no clue what to do. As I mentioned last week, I was working around the clock in a few different industries just to make ends meet. Even though the hardships, I somehow knew everything was going to be okay. I didn’t know exactly how but my gut told me to keep your head down and work hard, never letting go of the dream for a stable life.

Twenty-eight years later, I find myself writing this weekly post on my back patio overlooking a beautiful lake and thinking about how I wouldn’t’ change a thing. Sure, I haven’t done everything perfectly but no one is perfect. The end certainly justified the means. I have four absolutely wonderful sons in Blake, Lance, Luke, and Scot, all of which are unique in their own way. You mess with one and you might as well know, you are messing with all. However, individually, they all offer something special to this world. I may be a little biased but anyone lucky enough to meet them will instantly understand what I mean.

Today I also want to recognize three men that have had a major impact on my life. This includes my dad Mike Campbell; my grandfather, Winfred Robinett; and lastly, my step-father Richard Carlisle. Similar to my four my boys, they too offer the world their own unique perspective. Throughout my life, they have all taught me valuable lessons and while I haven’t always agreed with their perspectives, they have always respected the decisions I made.

In 1992, I had no plan or map as to how to navigate the terrain but I did have these three men who were like a compass to help guide me through both the rocky and the smooth waters ahead. Hopefully, I too can help my boys with their journey into fatherhood. I’ll take a little of the wisdom from my dad, pop, and grandfather, and couple it with the lessons I learned along the way. There is no greater honor than being a dad and so on this day, I wish all the dads out there a Happy Fathers Day!

24 of 50 - 1992

Fields of Joy

Today is June 14th which happens to also be my son Luke’s, 25th birthday. It’s somewhat serendipitous that his special day falls on the same day I write my weekly post because 1991 was also the year I first became a father when my two oldest sons, Blake and Lance were born. To find yourself a dad at age 22 was not something I was prepared or ready for. However, it is, and will always remain, a defining moment in my life.

The story of how this all came about is not something I plan to discuss. That is a story only for me and my boys. I’ve always said, “don’t judge me on how I became a father but rather judge me on the father I became”. In all honesty, no one should be judging anyone because we all have unique and varying ways we grew up through the years. During this time I had to make some really difficult choices, which included leaving college after my 3rd year where I would find myself working multiple jobs just to make ends meet. I worked in construction, lifeguarded, and worked in a horse stable helping to take care of two Tennessee Walking Horses. I went from one job to the next and would fight to find any amount of sleep I could get. My life consisted of only work and sleep and I was stressed beyond belief. My grandfather would always say 'you made your bed now lie in it". This meant that my actions resulted in something bigger than me so I wasn’t allowed to change my mind. I was meant to suffer the consequences of the choices I made, even if it wasn’t convenient or easy. At 22 it was a bitter pill to swallow but I didn’t know what love was until I had children. I saw the heavy workload as something I owed them to ensure their safety and well being. At the same time, I had a desire to have fun, enjoying all the benefits of being young. This posed a real challenge at times but the reality was that I was so busy I could barely find time to eat much less party with friends. It was a life-lesson that I desperately needed to learn. One that set the foundation for many years to come.

While I was stressed during this time, I did find a lot of joy in being a dad. My good friend Bill Haecker introduced me to Lenny Kravitz that year by giving me his CD, Fields of Joy. That became my mantra as I struggled to make ends meet. I began to seek out the joy in the little things to help overcome the challenges of each day. It was a key moment in helping me realize that everything was going to be okay and it eventually was.

I know this is skipping ahead a little bit in years but as I mentioned above, today my Luke’s (son #3) birthday. It was 25 years ago today that I welcome this red-headed, freckle-face kid into my life. I love the individual personalities all four of my boys have and Luke is no exception. He came into this world with his motor running at full speed and has never stopped! He is the one kid that desired to be next to me at all times and would eventually carry the same passion I have for tennis and humor. He has a genuine love for animals and is always good for many laughs! Today, I wish him the happiest of birthdays.

As I look back on the difficult times endured during the ’90s, I smile knowing that the foundation of love was set. I find myself today a very lucky man with a lovely wife and four wonderful sons in Blake, Lance, Luke, and Scot. Always seeking out the little things, I still walk daily through the “Fields of Joy” knowing that “My Cup Runneth Over”.

23 of 50 - 1991

Purpose

I’m back after taking a much needed week off to better collect my thoughts. I’m writing 50 posts this year so I only have two weeks where I can take a breather and I felt one was necessary considering we were leaving my favorite decade, the 1980s, and entering into the 90s.

The days of the big rock (aka hair) bands, punk, and new wave music were fading and a grittier sound was ushered in. The Pacific Northwest became the epicenter of some incredible bands such as Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Screaming Trees, Alice in Chains, The Dandy Warhols, and Mudhoney. My ability to see beyond my immediate periphery was still slightly hindered but thanks to my great friend, Bill Haecker, my eyes were soon open. I’ll be referencing Bill many times over the next few post as his influence on me, especially in music was monumental.  His uncanny ability to be on the absolute edge of everything cool is something I’ve always admired and respected about him. If not for him, it would have taken me a few more years to appreciate the bands I mention above. Most importantly, Bill’s friendship and the wonderful affection his mom, dad, and sister, Aimee, has extended to me over the years is something I truly cherish. I love being a Campbell but there is a part of me that always wanted to be Haecker and he and his family made me feel I was one.

I have mixed emotions about the 1990s based on the fact I had to make some very difficult decisions with school and life. Mapping out what I plan to write in the coming weeks brings up a few painful memories I’ve chosen to suppress. However, it was a time when my three oldest sons were born, which are defining moments in the foundation of what I was to become and the drive to get me there. I’ll dig in on these specific years more as I come to them but I will say that adversity is something I would come to learn. Especially in the early part of the decade. However, the ability of perseverance is something I picked up as well. It’s amazing what you can do when you find yourself feeling that your back is against the wall. You have a choice to give up and run or you can stand in and face the challenges ahead. It would be a lie if I said I didn’t consider both options but in the end, I chose to face the challenges and work through them. I failed at times along the way but I used those moments as opportunities to learn. I never allowed any failure to stop me from ensuring the safety and well-being of the boys. Nor did it impede my growth personally and professionally.

There are many different ways to find purpose in life and for me, it was becoming a father. This was a time where I was also growing as an adult, so it sometimes felt like on-the-job-training with the two not always working in perfect harmony. I did come out stronger for it, which includes all the good and bad I may have encountered. The foundation of purpose was laid down during this time but it would evolve and become stronger over the years to come. Looking back today, I wouldn’t change a thing.

22 of 50 - 1990

Can't Hardly Wait

The Fall of ‘88 into 1989 pretty much ran together. By this point in my life I was moving at full throttle. I was in the TJC Tennis Tech program, on the courts by 7 AM and only came off for classes or food. When I wasn’t playing tennis, I was running absolutely wild with my buddies, Lance Cornell and Anthony Crucial. I wrote about Lance last weekend and have been able to keep up with him over the years but sadly lost track of Anthony.

Anthony Crucial was an incredible tennis player who also was on the vanguard of college cool. We were both in the tennis program and he was a suite mate with Lance. Up until that point I had fancied myself as having a diverse musical pallet and hadn’t yet tuned into the college radio vibe. That all changed with Anthony. He thrived on the cutting edge of college radio and one band in particular he dug was The Replacements. They were starting to get mainstream play but were still flying just under the radar. Along with The Replacements, a few other bands I really began to dig included Love & Rockets, The Smithereens, Camper Van Beethoven, and one of my top favorite bands of all time, Social Distortion. All of these bands had been around a while but growing up in the ’80s your only choice to music was mainstream media that was centered on top 40 radio and the occasional rock stations such as KLOL out of Houston. No station outside of college radio was playing the underground tunes that would soon shape and round out my musical taste. When I first arrived at TJC I thought the blinders from Polk County were off but soon realized there were many more layers to go before I could fully see. I have Anthony to thank for that because now I was listening to a totally new set of tunes. He definitely had an edginess to him that I didn’t possess and along with Lance, we would have an absolute blast tearing up Tyler, TX.

There were many historical events that took place in 1989 such as George H.W. Bush taking office, the tragic Exxon Valdez oil spill, and later on that year, the US invaded Panama. During this period, I was still innocently blind to all that was going on and seem to only live inside the bubble of my world, which consisted of tennis 10 hours a day with a few classes scattered about and then going full party mode nightly.

The realization of my invisibility came to a crashing halt when I received a phone call from my dad letting me know a childhood friend from Lufkin, Gerald Hughes, had been in a car accident and was life-flighted to Tyler.  Gerald was the nephew of my step-mother, Phyllis, whom I had known for years. The hospital was only a few blocks away from my dorm so I headed over and remember thinking that everything was going to be okay. How could it not? I mean, we were all living fast and hard and nothing had dented the armor yet. I couldn’t have been more wrong and naive. His family had not yet arrived and I was the first to see him at the hospital. He was unconscious and being kept alive on a breathing tube. His eyes were semi-open and had little strips of tape over them to help them stay shut. I instantly had a lump in my throat, a pit in my stomach and my mouth went completely dry. The shock of what I was seeing had an instant effect on my entire body and state of mind. He had been thrown out of the back of a Bronco, severely injuring his head. The image of him laying there, being kept alive by machines is something I have never forgotten. While I would label it at the time as a “wake-up call”, I would soon again find myself only temporarily taking a break from the wildlife. Gerald passed away a few days later and while I only briefly knew him, it had a massive effect on my psyche. It wasn’t clear if the tears I had that day were from his passing or from the realization that life is so fragile. I’m pretty sure it’s a bit of both.

My intent in writing these “50 Thoughts for 50 Years” was to stay centered on the good memories of growing up. However, I do feel it’s important to call out a few of the harder times that helped to shape who I was to become. There are a few unfortunate events in 1989 but overall I had a great year. I did find myself impatiently ready to grow up and couldn’t hardly wait to get to where I was going. All that said, I still look back with fondness for the unbelievable and great times had with Lance and Anthony. We may have been innocent and naive but we were having the absolute time of our lives.

I hope everyone has a very safe and Happy Memorial Day!

21 of 50

Where Is My Mind?

In this week’s edition of “50 Thoughts for 50 Years”, I am exploring probably the most favorite year of my youth…1988. Not only was this the year I graduated high school but it was also the year I left for college. While I’ll always hold a special place in my heart for my hometown of Livingston in Polk County Texas, there was no one more ready to leave than me. It had provided a safe harbor to grow up but it was now time to let the wind inflate the sails as I ventured into the world.

I remember the growing anticipation of graduation in the Spring of 88. It simply couldn’t arrive fast enough for me as I was ready to begin the next phase. Before doing so, I still had my final tennis season as well as plans to work the first half of the summer at the pool before heading off to the Tennis Tech Program at Tyler Jr. College. Paired with John Cathey, we would torch district play on our way to regionals. We were heavily favored in the tournament, which was being held at Sam Houston State University in Huntsville, TX. It was set up to feel like a home match for us. However, mother nature was not so kind and we went through multiple rain delays before finally playing our final match against Brenham late that night. It was windy, cold, and wet. All that said, we felt we were the better team even if the outcome didn’t show it. I have to give credit to the boys from Brenham as they were able to deal with the elements better and eventually move on to the state tournament. Johnny and I were both gravely disappointed as our high school career had ended but deep down we knew the juice had been worth the squeeze.

Later in May, along with my fellow 187 seniors, the Class of 1988 walked across the stage in Livingston High School’s auditorium. Again, with mother nature at work, the rains forced our gradution indoors but that didn’t hamper the exultation of graduation. I remember seeing everyone running through the halls to hug family and friends. My grandparents threw me a wonderful party and along with Johnny, James Lowe, and a few others, we party hopped to everyone’s houses to celebrate. We had done it! We finally checked off the high school box and were headed for college.

This is where the story really begins because I went from what I perceived to be a big fish in a small pond to being a very small guppie in an ocean. What I defined as cool in Livingston was not even remotely considered cool at Tyler Jr. College. To be clear, my idea of style was tennis shorts and a t-shirt so there was massive room for improvement. While I still consider this a pretty cool attire to this day, my wardrobe at the time needed a major upgrade for what was to come. The realization of this came about during orientation where everyone was rocking fashion forward gear. I remember hearing the Pixies for the first time at TJC and the song that stuck out was “Where Is My Mind?” (click to listen). Little did I know that a few short hours later after orientation, I would attend a party at one of the frats and literally was asking myself that exact question! Rumor has it I may have been slightly inebriated, dancing on top of an AC unit while running as much smack-talk I could to every girl that came by.

Back to orientation, during one of the segments, a professor came in and rudely stated: “sit down and shut up!”. I was stunned at the abruptness but before I could come up with some smart ass remark I heard the kid next to me say “Dang, this lady crawls right up your ass!” in a deep Texas-Oklahoma (aka Savoy, TX) twang. At that moment, I instantly knew this dude was going to be a good friend. That voice belonged to the one and only, some say legendary, Lance Esmond Cornell.

To say Lance Cornell is one of the craziest people I have ever met would be a gross misrepresentation. My-man Lance is the mold by which all party animals are made. He had a preacher’s smile and the devils laugh. Within the first few minutes of meeting him, you instantly want to hang out and party. He is as genuine as the day is long and will always bring a smile to those around him. I honestly struggle to recall half of the antics we pulled during those years at TJC. Some, probably most, was self-induced but any debauchery I participated in was sure to have Lance right there along with me. Again, questioning on many occasions “Where Is My Mind”. He and I may have lost a few steps over the years but put us together for one night and look the heck out!

To this day Lance remains a cherished friend who always remembers to call on birthdays and without fail, brings a huge smile to my face. As a way to honor our friendship, I named my second son, Lance Tyler after the famous, one of kind, Lance I met in Tyler back in 1988. I’m fairly certain that anyone that has ever met him will have a wonderful story to tell that is laced with tons of humor.

I often look back on 1988 and think about the spectacular memories that were made. I couldn’t recognize it then but see now we were at the end of our innocence. Leaving high school behind and taking that first real step towards adulthood. This was our opportunity to set sail and really start to expand our minds to the massive possibilities in front of us. I had so much to learn and credit this year where my eyes were truly open.

20 of 50 - 1988

Welcome to the incoming Fish!

I see 1987 as basically two halves. The first half would be the Spring of my Junior year and the Fall would be the beginning of my Senior year at Livingston High School. It was as if there were two different mindsets going on during this time. When you are in your junior year, specifically the Spring, it’s almost as if it’s a weigh station on the road to graduation. It’s important but its significance pales in comparison to the perception that you will soon be a senior, essentially the top of the mountain as far as high school goes. The celebrations to come during the Spring of 87 are reserved for those outgoing seniors who are taking the leap towards college and we as juniors are left holding the proverbial check or as some would say, picking up the torch.

All that said, I found the first half of 1987 pretty dang cool. As juniors, in support of the seniors, it was our duty to organize, build, and put on the prom. It has been quite a few years since that time but I believe the theme was a King Arthur style castle. I remember doing a lot of painting but the scenery wasn’t what it was all about. This would be my first prom and at the time I wasn’t dating anyone steady. However, I was friends with everyone and wasn’t too stressed about it. Now, as I mentioned before, there have been many years since that time and so this may have some slight revisionist history going on. However, one of those great friends was the legendary Lisa Thomas. Lisa ran with one of the coolest crews, which included Ginger Keller and the infamous Autumn Smith. To describe them as just cool just doesn’t do it justice. They epitomized what it meant to be carefree and fun. I think Memo Taylor was part of the crew as well but while the rest of the bunch like me, I’m not sure Memo was a big fan. I’m fairly certain that is my fault and I would definitely change that if I could. Hopefully one day I’ll get the chance.

I may have to correct this once I hear back from Lisa, whom I messaged earlier today. But, the way I remember it, I was driving to Slick’s house (aka James Lowe) on Hwy 146 and saw Lisa coming from the opposite direction, so I flagged her down in front of Ellen Mosely’s gymnastic gym. I remember chit-chatting a bit and finally got the nerve to ask her to prom. We had been friends a while so there was no need to be nervous but remember, Lisa was part of the vanguard group of girls that were definitely leading from the front and not the rear so at 17, that can be a little intimidating. Fast forward through the nervousness, Lisa accepted my request and we went on to have a great time at the prom. I think what made it so great was the fact I got to hang with Lisa. She always struck me as extremely hip and was simply a great person to be around. There was no stress or drama with Lisa just fun and a big smile. I’m thankful to this day that she was willing to be my date. I remember seeing her many years later at a reunion and I wasn’t surprised to see that she hasn’t lost any semblance of that coolness. I’ll always look back on that night and time with a broad smile and fondness for the good times it represented.

The second half of 1987 was the Fall of my senior year. We had finally made it! As seniors, we were finally at the top of the hill and so along with a few buddies, namely, John Cathey, James Lowe, and Bill Haecker wanted to find a welcoming message to the incoming Freshman, aka Fish. As anyone who went to Livingston High School during that time will remember, there was a long drive up to the school from Hwy 190, which was greeted with a welcome/announcement sign as you entered. This gave us an idea! We decided to make a “Wanted: Dead or Alive” poster and hang it from this sign at the front of the school. Bill, possessing mad artistic skills, painted the poster in Livingston Lions green on a white sheet. We then hung it up the night before school started, which is the photo for this post. In fact, this photo made the front page of the Polk County Enterprise. It was all in good fun and was our way, the soon to be Seniors of 1988, of welcoming the incoming freshman. We were setting the stage because the upcoming year was going to be great!

As I write about my first prom in 1987, I do feel some sorrow for the juniors and seniors of today. This is a bizarre time with COVID-19 and I’m heartfully sorry that these kids won’t get to experience their own lasting memory of a prom. My advice is to soak in every moment and don’t take life’s events for granted. You are only young once so let go of the stress and just enjoy it.

19 of 50 - 1987

Why Can't...1986

In the Spring of 86, I was finishing up the second half of my sophomore year in Lufkin and counting down the days until I moved back home to Livingston. While Lufkin was not for me, there were a few key historical events that took place that Spring that I will never forget.

The first event was the tragic disaster of the Space Shuttle Challenger on Tuesday, January 28th. I remember it vividly as I was headed to the tennis courts after changing in the locker room and one of my teammates, Chris Guiterrez, mentioned to me that the Space Shuttle had just blown up. I remember saying to him that it wasn’t cool to joke about that kind of thing but he was serious. The Space Shuttle Challenger broke apart 73 seconds into its flight, killing all seven crew members aboard, including a teacher, Christa McAuliffe. It was a surreal moment that I’ll never forget. The bizarre thing is that two years later, Chris, who first told me about the Challenger explosion, would pass away from some accident in his home along with his mother. I was already back in Livingston at that time but those two events have always stuck with me.

Moving to a brighter spot in 1986, Jack Nicklaus won his 18th major at the 50th Masters in Augusta, GA. He was 46 at the time and while you can’t tell in the picture for this post, I am actually wearing a commemorative yellow Criquet Shirt with 86 stitch on the pocket. Criquet launched the shirt this year as a tribute to his win. I liked golf but didn’t play much at the time and seeing Nicklaus win that tournament forever made me a fan.

One of the biggest things in music to happen in 86 was the release of Van Halen’s “5150”. This was huge because after “1984”, David Lee Roth exited the band and this album marked the Sammy Hagar era of Van Halen. At the time, I was skeptical because I was a huge Van Halen fan but those fears were soon put to rest as soon as I heard “Why Can’t This Be Love”. I was sold! The entire album was incredible and Sammy’s voice was unmatched. It was still the Van Halen vibe but with incredible vocals, both on the album and live. It was a spectacular way to start the summer back home in Livingston. Just in case you need a refresher, you can find the awesomeness HERE.

I use the phrase “Why Can’t…" in the title, not only for the Van Halen song but also because it was sort of my mantra. I found myself asking “why can’t” to a lot of things. I was tired of living in the ethnocentric bubble that my family or Polk County seemed to believe needed to surround me. It was a great summer being back home with my friends and heading into the Fall for my junior year. I was ready to be mobile and bought a Yamaha Scooter (aka Vespa), which wasn’t the coolest thing in the world but did get me around. I eventually got my first car, which was a Ford Escort SS, and to be honest, it was a total piece of crap. I also had a huge crush on Christiana Ramirez, which had lingered since junior high. I’m fairly certain all boys my age had a crush on her at that time but I’ll only speak for myself. The stars never completely aligned for Christina and me during those years but she will forever remain a cherished friend of mine. In fact, she comes to mind anytime I hear “Your Love” by The Outfield. Legend has it, there is a very innocent story behind this and if there is, then its something that will remain just for Christina and I. That being said, I’m fairly certain John Cathey and Ronnie Morris may argue they are part of it but nope, I think that will always be just mine and Christina’s. So, Christina, click here because this one is for YOU.

As I’ve said in numerous posts, the ’80s was my absolute favorite decade. Looking back, I didn’t seem to let a lot of things stress me out too terribly bad and simply enjoyed a wonderful coming of age period. Sure, I made a lot of mistakes but I wouldn’t change a thing because I cherish the wonderful memories and friendships built. As you can tell from the side by side photos I’ve aged quite a bit in the last 34 years but the great thing is that I can hear a song from back then that instantly brings to life a vivid memory, which inevitably brings a warm, youthful smile to my face. Isn’t that what life is supposed to be about?

18 of 50 - 1986

Sanctuary

1985 was one of those years that somewhat blurred together with those around it. I’m not certain if this was intentional or just uneventful. In the spring of 85, I was finishing my freshman year at Livingston High School, and heading into summer I was working on my lifeguard certification and once complete, I would start working at the City Pool, which was run by Nan Robbins, who was the wife of our pastor at church. Nan pretty much expected all of us in the youth group to work at the pool during the summers and honestly, it was an honor as it was a cush job, to say the least. The one area that was actual work was teaching swim lessons in the mornings, however, I didn’t mind because of the ability to sit poolside in the afternoons. It also gave me a chance to hang with a group of friends that I still keep in contact with today.

I continued to play tennis all summer as it became my sanctuary. Anytime I was feeling lost or in pain, I could just go to the courts and immediately feel a sense of inner peace. My relationship with my mother was beginning to fray at every edge and at the same time, I had a desire to get to know my father better. At the end of the summer, I made the decision to move from Livingston to Lufkin for my sophomore year. I had envisioned a chance to really know who my dad was while improving my tennis game. As I mentioned in a much earlier post, he was a really good tennis player and in my eyes, this was a perfect opportunity. While I accomplished both of these goals, I wouldn’t say this was a completely positive experience overall.

My father had a life with his wife Phyllis and her two kids, Evie and Leanna. I was coming into their home where I was an outsider. To their credit, they accepted me but it wasn’t easy on any of us. At this point in my life, I still felt the world revolved around me and it was hard to separate that ethnocentric view. On the other hand, they too were not super flexible in making changes so it sometimes boiled over. This was a difficult time and I still have trouble thinking about it today. I believe we all knew it wasn’t a fit and I honestly missed my friends back home in Livingston terribly.

While getting to know dad better, I was improving my skills in tennis. We would spend countless hours on the court and my game along with my relationship with him improved greatly. The tennis court was one area that was reserved for just us. I didn’t recognize it then but do now, that when we were at their home, he had to be all things to all members of the family. At that age, I had trouble understanding this but as I said, on the court, all seemed right.

At the end of the school year in the Spring of 86, I headed back to Livingston, home, to begin my second summer working at the pool. I also made the decision to stay versus head back to Lufkin and there was little to no resistance in that decision from all parties involved. The challenge ahead was ensuring I got along with my mother but something magical had happened while I was gone. She met Richard Carlisle, who would eventually become my stepfather during my senior year. He was a true blessing bringing peace to an otherwise chaotic situation. He chose to love me, my brother, and my mother unconditionally. Best of all, I began learning about everything. Pop, as I call him today, was a student of the world and held both a business and a pharmacy degree. He instilled in me the strategic importance of education. He also represented stability when I needed it most. I am super thankful for this along for so many other things and the lessons he taught me then and still continues to teach me today.

The one bit of historical recall I have from 85 was the release of the album “Love” by The Cult. I mentioned last week but my musical pallet was pretty diverse and my mind was completely blown the moment I heard “She Sells Sanctuary”. From the entry of this song to the end, it was incredible. In all honesty, it would take me a few years to figure out what Ian Atsbury was singing in the lyrics but I didn’t care, I loved the song anyway. It just KICKED ASS and remains in heavy rotation on my stereo today. The Cult quickly became, and still remains, one of my all-time top-5 bands. Take a listen HERE.

The decision to move back to Livingston at the end of that year set me on a positive course for where I am today. I still made a lot of mistakes in the years to come but at least the foundation was set to build upon. The lessons I learned and the hardships I endured, has helped me to tackle potential challenges I face today. Most important, when life is completely out of control, I can still just go sit on a tennis court and find peace and solace. It remains to this day, my sanctuary.

17 of 50 - 1985

1984!

It’s hard to call out a specific year as one of my favorites because my most favorite years include meeting and marrying my wife Sarah and the birth of my four sons. However, outside of those great years to come, there are few that stand out and none more than 1984!

This was a year when I was opening to the broad landscape of the world versus the narrow scope of living in Livingston, TX. I was heading into my freshman year, transitioning from a kid in junior high to a full-fledged teenager in high school. It felt so empowering! I remember our 8th-grade class had a huge end-of-year swim party at Memorial Pointe on Lake Livingston and as I looked around we all seemed older and more mature. It was probably figment of my imagination but it felt transformational.

The music of 1984 continued to be stellar with one of my favorite groups, The Cars, releasing Heartbeat City. I had been a fan for a few years but this album, coupled with the many videos on MTV, launched The Cars into another stratosphere with songs like “Magic”, “Drive”, and “You Might Think”. Another monumental album released this year was Van Halen’s 1984. Again, a foundational band in my musical library, Van Halen would release its best selling album, which coincidentally would be David Lee Roth’s last. 1984 was a complete detour from Van Halen’s past albums with its synthesizer hit “Jump”. At first, I wasn’t sure if I liked it but the more I listened to it the more I loved it. While “Jump” was an odd choice to release first, it made sense as the rest of the album was an exploration in great music with hits like “Panama”, “Hot for Teacher”, “I’ll Wait”, “Drop Dead Legs”, and “Top Jimmy”.  It simply was an incredible album and helped to diversify my taste in music. I didn’t stop there as I was also heavily digging Echo & The Bunnymen and found one particular song hauntingly good, “The Killing Moon”. I was always one of those that if I like something, whether it be music, sports, etc that I would just listen or do it over and over again. However, now I was listening to everything from the punk scene to English rock to hair bands and college rock. I simply couldn’t get enough of the different kinds of music that was coming out at the time.

I felt so alive in 1984 and my desire to grow up fast and head to college was beginning to accelerate based on all of these factors. I was practicing tennis every day of the week with a single goal to be a tennis professional. While I loved music, my only talent was appreciation so my childhood desire of working in tennis was still intact.

I’m sure every generation has an opinion on what was the best decade but as I mentioned in my previous post discussing the 1980s, I would stand it up against any decade out there. To say I’m biased is an understatement and I also recognize there were some serious fashion challenges such as shoulder pads, double-breasted suits, the mullet, and big hair to name a few. But throw on some 80s music at your next get-together or party and see what happens. You’ll see smiles, laughs, dancing, singing, and an overall good time. As I’ve said many times, I love the entire decade but 1984 definitely stood out in my youth.   It was, and still remains today, totally aweseome! To put it simply…It was my awakening.

16 of 50 - 1984

Cuts Like a Knife

One of my favorite albums of 1983 was “Cuts Like a Knife” by Bryan Adams. In addition to the title cut (pun intended), the album also included great songs such as “This Time”, “Straight from the Heart”, and “The Best Was Yet To Come”. I’m fairly certain this album appealed to me because it was about discovering love and at this age, every teenager was feeling new and electric emotions for the first time. Bryan Adams wasn’t the only belting out music that spoke to the tender, flowering souls of youth. You also had “Owner of Lonely Heart” by Yes, “Faithfully” by Journey, and “King of Pain” by the Poice to name a few. It was a perfect storm of great music mixed with off-the-scales puberty.

I went from caring only about sports, dirtbikes, and hanging with my buddies to combing my hair, wearing deodorant, and noticing how pretty girls I went to school with were. I found one of these girls, Jan McGarrahan, to be very pretty and sweet. Jan was already my friend whom I spoke to regularly but the day I came to realize I liked her, I found that I was struggling to overcome the knot in my stomach and lump in my throat. I had absolutely no clue what I was doing and couldn’t understand why my normal functioning voice no longer worked. Luckily, in those days, we were all friends so I’m sure one of our mutual friends whispered to her that I thought she was pretty to gauge her interest. Then the friend would come back and report to me their findings and I would pass along another message until finally, Jan would become my girlfriend. Looking back it was all innocent, fun, and simple but boy, did it feel real at the time. This was the day and age of corded phones, which I had no interest in until I got a girlfriend and we would spend the evening chatting about anything and everything. It was a great year until I got the news Jan wold be moving to Conroe at the end of the school year. It was a crushing blow. The original feeling I had of a “knot in the stomach” when I was first approaching her to be my girlfriend quickly reappeared. Hearing the song “Cuts Like a Knife” took on new meaning and at 13 years old I no interpersonal skill set to deal with the flood of emotions I was feeling.

It was all innocent, young love at the time and I may have some revisionist history going on here but I do remember feeling my eyes were opening up. This wave of emotions was just a natural part of growing up. I had already come to realize that life wasn’t all “rainbows and unicorns” with all the trials and tribulations I dealt with in the the 70s. However, this was the first time I was feeling loss for someone I cherished. I didn’t realize it then but it was a valuable lesson about appreciating the friendships you build. As you get older, friendship don’t come quite as easy and we shouldn’t take it for granted when one does come along.

The silver lining is that Jan is still a friend to this day and just as sweet, kind, and pretty as she was back when were kids strolling around Livingston Jr. High. The universe has a funny way of making sure we all find our true partners in life and just as I found mine, Jan found hers. It was a bitter pill to swallow back in the early 80s but in the end, it all worked out. The best part of all is that I still dig listening to “Cuts Like a Knife” and I’m happy to report that I can do so with no lingering pangs of a broken heart.

Click HERE to enjoy this awesome tune!

15 of 50 - 1983

Fast Times

I look at the early 80s as a coming of age period, realizing that I didn’t share most of the opinions my parents had. I compare it to noticing all of the flowers bloom on a Spring day. One day everything is dormant and then it seems like POW!, everything is alive and awake! Up until that point, I didn’t know I could have a different opinion. This was in part to me simply being naive as well as my parents essentially made it clear that kids were to be seen and not heard. It was total BS and I was slowly realizing it daily. I started to gain the courage to speak up for myself, which was not always met with love and kindness. However, I didn’t care about the consequences and it wasn’t about disrespect. It was about being able to see the things going on around me and have an opinion that was mine and mine only.

The explosion of entertainment, specifically music and movies, were big contributors to this awakening. One movie that was super instrumental was “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”. While turning 13 in 1982, and the fact Fast Times was Rated R, it did pose a challenge for me to see it. However, I found a way to sneak in, which only reinforced my passion for everything 80s. It was a trend-setter from fashion to music. It made checkered Vans cool and gave us the one and only Jeff Spicoli. Vans up until this point were cheap lace-up shoes usually in blue or white that we economically challenged kids wore. However, Spicoli rocked the checkered slip-on’s and they still reign today. I was in the 7th grade that year and the only kids I remember having those specific Vans were Robby Parks and Roxanne Morton. They were both cutting edge at the time and seem to be on top of that trend from the start. Some of the best lines came from that move such a “Hey bud, lets party” and “You Dick!” in reference to Mr. Hand tearing up Spicoli’s schedule. The movie also opened up the eyes, aka jump-started puberty, for most teenage boys when Phoebe Cates came climbing out of a swimming pool to The Cars song “Moving in Stereo”. It’s an iconic moment and movie. I still enjoy watching it to this day as it transcends generations and taken on a life of its own.

1982 was also the year that truly put the Ironman Championships on the world map. It had been gaining popularity since its short inception a few years before but this was the year that Julie Moss would forever change the sport. On the men’s side, Dave Scott was solidifying his name as the greatest athlete of the time but Julie Moss’s story was simply incredible. She entered the race for her senior college thesis, completely unprepared for what was ahead of her. Moss was leading in the last part of the marathon but hit her brick wall at mile 23. As she came near the end, only a few hundred yards, of the race she collapsed. She picked herself up and began running only to fall to her knees a few more times. While down, three other competitors passed her by for the podium. However, while she didn’t win the race, she did notch a victory for Ironman. On ABCs Wide World of Sports the world witness sheer determination as she crawled to the finish. It was the most amazing feat of human perseverance and courage I have ever witnessed. This defining moment in sports not only put the Ironman Championships on the map but it showed that you should never underestimate the power and will we have as human beings to overcome any obstacle in our path. If you need a little motivational nudge for the day then take a look at this video. Julie still stands as one of my heroes today.

As I reflect back on the years, it seems that so many amazing things took place during this period. It was about growth, learning, and exploring what was going on in the world. Most importantly it was about having the courage to open my eyes and begin to find my own voice. I may not have been as old or as cool as the kids in Fast Times or have the sheer strength of Julie Moss but I was certainly beginning to find my own path and what a journey it would turn out to be.

14 of 50 - 1982

Don't Stop Believin'

Up until 1981, sports were the dominant focus in my life but the balance started to shift slightly on that infamous August day when MTV was launched. I fondly remember the commercials of a variety of artists saying “I want my MTV!” leading up to the launch and thinking to myself, “what the heck is this?”

At the time, and before the official launch of MTV, I had a small, red, AM/FM 8-track player with a single speaker that Santa Claus brought to me at Christmas that previous year. It came with an 8-track of Billy Joel’s Glass Houses and an early years Fleetwood Mac tape that totally sucked. To be fair, the Fleetwood Mac tape was prior to the additions of Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham, and it just wasn’t very good. However, the Billy Joel album was incredible with songs such as “You May Be Right”, “Don’t Ask Me Why” and “It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me”. When I wasn’t wearing that tape player out, I was listening to the local FM station and this is where my eyes would become truly open to the best generation in music.

Little did Santa know but he had opened Pandora’s Box because now I had access to Van Halen, Journey, AC/DC, and the Police. Van Halen had just released the album “Women and Children First” in 80 and “Fair Warning” would follow in 81. Journey’s album, “Escape”, was blowing up the radio along with The Police’s “Ghost in the Machine”. 1981 essentially shaped my taste in music to this day in that one single year.

While that radio was totally badass, it paled in comparison to MTV when it launched that August. Now all of sudden, you were able to see your favorite artist either in concert footage or short videos acted out to the theme of the song. It was incredible! My friends and I went from hanging out at the city pool late that summer to sitting in front of our TVs for hours on end. I personally couldn’t get enough of it and the only thing that did get me back outdoors was my passion for tennis. However, it was tough to balance time betweeen these two things but I somehow found a way to do both.

Life wasn’t perfect that year but for the first time in my life, I was able to relax long enough to soak in the cool musical changes taking place around me. I was able to just be an innocent kid enjoying the explosion of entertainment. I always believed there was a better life ahead of me and I was going to hold on to that belief no matter what. Not to be too corny, but Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” became my theme song that year.

While today, I still listen to many of the same songs I first heard back then and sometimes, just sometimes, I can still hear Steve Perry belting out from my small, red, 8-track player “Living just to find emotion…Hiding somewhere in the night!…Don't stop believin'…Hold on to the feelin'“. Simply incredible! Even after all these years that song, and many others like it, still kick ass!

So on this wonderful Sunday morning, hold on to your dreams and definitely “Don’t Stop Believin!”

Here is a short trip back to 1981…enjoy!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs

13 of 50 - 1981

The Awesome 80s!

AUTHORS WARNING: Reading this without pushing play will result in long-term consequences - “PLAY”

Welcome to the decade of awesome! The 1980s was a new start for me and it seemed to bring change in just about everything. Gone were the 70’s and the horrible fashions trends, ugly wallpaper, the tail-end trend to be a dirty hippie, and most of all, bell-bottom jeans! I was made for the '80s! To this day, it still represents my favorite decade simply because of what I perceived it represented, which was a positive change.

It may have been my imagination or the desire to escape the rough years of the last decade but the ’80s seem to usher in a disruptive change in everything from fashion to music. Now all of sudden mannerisms and etiquette along with dress codes were gaining importance. The standard uniform included button-down shirts or polos, khaki pants, and most of all, top-sider loafers with no socks! It was the generation of preppy and it couldn’t arrive fast enough for me. I so badly wanted to escape anything that wreaked of the previous decade. All of sudden, nicknames such as Chip, Van, Jock, Muffy, Missy, Buffy, and Tiffy were cool. From the outside looking in, being blessed with a nickname was like gaining entrance into an exclusive club. Outfitting your home in rich mahogany, nautical themes, and hunting memorabilia was standard protocol. It meant you had arrived. It was a home filled with classic portraits of hunting dogs, duck motifs, horses, and wild game. There were piano, ballet, golf, equestrian, sailing, tennis, and French lessons for the kids. No split-level house was complete without a beautiful Golden Retriever, Irish Setter, or Labrador. Winters were spent skiing while the summers were filled with weekends at the club and summer camps.

I’ve been leading up to this in previous posts, but 1980 provided us one of the greatest Wimbledon Finals of all time. Björn Borg defeated John McEnroe 1–6, 7–5, 6–3, 6–7(16–18), 8–6 to win his 5th Wimbledon Championship in a row. I always knew I wanted to be a tennis player but on that particular Saturday in July, the game was permanently woven into the fabric of my being. Everything about that match elevated the game and sparked a new era for tennis. It kicked the decade off with a boom that would see the sport rise to its greatest heights in popularity breeding a new generation, my generation, of players. Soon technology would transform it from the heavy wooden racquets to the sleek and light graphites. On that day, the match played by Borg and McEnroe forever changed the game. In case you missed it, here is a link to a highlight reel of the match.

I wasn’t fortunate enough to belong to any private tennis clubs but looking through those fences I knew I wanted to be a part of them and would do what it took to get there. This meant I had to raise my game to the point where I would be invited to play. I approached the sport with fire and tenacity that still rages today and it was undeniable that I belonged. I would spend hours day-dreaming of how I would play and even more hours pounding a ball against any wall I could find. Tennis was also a bridge back to my dad, who was now living with his new family. He loved the sport almost as much as I did and was a hell of a player with great athletic skills. I was coming of age and able to hit the ball well enough that it created an opportunity for us to spend time together. He was focused on improving his own game but I didn’t care because it meant that I was near him. While he and I have not always seen eye-to-eye, I do have him to thank for introducing me to the sport. Even today, I find myself drifting off into thoughts of being on the court or replaying old matches. This is something I hope I never lose.

There are so many great things about the 1980s and I’m looking forward to sharing my affection and love for everything from movies to music to fashion throughout this journey over the next ten post. As I said, it was a new beginning, one that would prove to be the most favorite decade of my life. So put on your best polo, khakis, and top-siders, because this ride will be totally rad!

12 of 50 - 1980

Change

Change is a constant force we face daily yet it continues to be difficult to accept. One would think that dealing with it on an ongoing basis, it would logically become easier. Not all change is negative but even when it’s positive, the transition can be tough. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to better manage new situations but it has been a process learned over many years. As a kid, especially in 1979, I was dealing with my parents’ divorce and all of the factors associated with its impact. I’ve come to realize today but wished back then that someone would have told me that change is an opportunity to discover and reimagine what life can be. That I could control my narrative, even if I was a 9 or 10-year-old kid, ensuring happiness around me.

A lot of what I remember about home life in 1979 is a blur. I’m fairly certain this is due to the fact that I purposely chose to forget a lot of what was going on around me and instead, choosing to only remember select key moments. What I do recall about family-life that year was that my dad was moving on with his new family and my mom was an erratic wreck who was constantly stressed and fairly unpleasant to be around.

I would purposely get on my bike at sunrise and not come home until sundown, simply to avoid an unhappy environment. While out, I would daydream about playing on the grass courts of Wimbledon and the Australian Open, the red clay of Roland Garros, and the new hard courts of the US Open. In 1979 Bjorn Borg would win his fourth Wimbledon title against the big-serving American, Roscoe Tanner in a grueling five-set match. It also was the year before the epic matches to come in Borg v. McEnroe. That year, Borg also would win his fourth of six, French Open titles. His run in the late 70s and early 80s was unprecedented. Tennis was in the midst of a growth revolution and transitioning from the stodgy country clubs to the public courts. It became an accessible escape, through my dreams, of the reality around me, which helped me find happiness in a difficult time.

Fast forward to the current day and I again find myself managing through change. This time through the explosive growth of the company I work for. Inevitably, when you grow fast, the change around you is not always easy. The culture created when you’re a small organization starts to disappear due to the need to bring on new talent. This can be very uncomfortable and uneasy. I’ve seen it a few times throughout my career where the people that helped build the organization are passed over due to the idea that only real change comes with outside talent. I believe this is a flawed approach. While bringing in fresh ideas is good, we should never get away from what got us to this point. Regardless of the route taken, we should be considerate in the approach to avoid the unnecessary stress that can sometimes accompany this type of change.

All this being said, and as I mentioned above, each of us controls the narrative of our lives. While we can’t always control the change taken place around us, we can control how we choose to deal with the transition. The French Algerian Philosopher, Albert Camus, once said, “In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer”. When the winds of change come along, both positive and negative, be brave and embrace it. We should never lose sight of the incredible strength we all have inside of us to overcome it. Be great and reimagine the life you want to live because you are the greatest author of your own story.

11 of 50 - 1979

Endurance

Since starting this project, I have looked forward to these writing sessions every Sunday. However, this week centers on the year, 1978. This was a very difficult year as it was the year my father chose to leave. Writing about it brings back some painful thoughts and feelings that I’m still not comfortable discussing. Divorce is difficult for a child of any age but I found it especially difficult as an 8-year-old.

I didn’t understand what was going between my parents nor have they ever felt that I was an owed an explanation, even to this day. I differ in opinion about this form of parental approach as I always believed that you should be honest with your kids. I am a firm believer taking an open and honest approach with your children sets the foundation for better decision-making down the road. The wedge of resentment that was created then still lingers today, contributing to a slight lack of trust. In the end, their divorce was the right move as they were unhappy but what I feel was lost on them was the fear of abandonment it created for my brother and myself at the time. They both remarried wonderful people and were able to find the happiness they couldn’t at that time.

While all this was going on, I never stopped being a kid. It did force me into a much different situation as my brother was a toddler and we didn’t have a lot of money. However, I never let that stop me from simply embracing the carefree lifestyle of a child. I would hop on my bike and escape the reality of home as well as eagerly jettison off to my grandparents’ house, where I could play free of the anxiety of divorce.

Most of 1978 remains a blur but one thing that stands out is that this was the year the Ironman competition was born. A US Navy Commander named, John Collins, was looking to end an argument on which athlete was the fittest. He took the three biggest endurance races in Hawaii and combined them to form the first Ironman. The primary way to watch any sport in the 1970s was ABC’s Wide World of Sports and the first time I watched one of these races I couldn’t help but think they were completely crazy and saying “there is no way I’ll ever do that”. Little did I know that I too one day would be participating in Ironman races. Ironman has only gained in popularity since then. During that first race, there were 15 athletes with only 12 finishing and today it has thousands of participants.

The choice to compete in an Ironman differs from athlete to athlete. My personal decision, initially, was to provide a competitive outlet after having the first of two surgeries on my arm from tennis. After the first sprint distance race, I quickly learned that the hooks are in you for more. The sense of accomplishment of a triathlon race at any distance is incredible and while you may be in pain at the end, you find yourself already planning for the next one. Today, I choose to race in the Ironman 70.3 distance, which is commonly referred to as the “half-Ironman”. The 70.3 distance, at my age, represents a massive challenge both mentally and physically. This challenge is not just the race itself but the training that leads up to it. In fact, I have found that I enjoy the consistency and rigor of training is more satisfying than the race itself.

It takes dedication, mental fortitude, and perseverance to train but most importantly it takes the support of those around you. Ironman is not an individual sport. It is a collection of key people that help push you through the entire process. For me, that is my wife Sarah. She is the underlying motivation that encourages me to find the mental and physical balance needed to succeed in both training and race day. I am thankful for so many positive aspects Sarah brings to my life, especially the motivation in preparing for my next Ironman.

1978 may have not been the best year of my youth but I knew life would go on and I would eventually be better for it. Similar to what it takes to prepare and race for an Ironman, I would learn to persevere through hardship and the many difficult challenges life would throw at me as I got older. However, at a young age, I realized we as human beings are capable of enduring so much more than we ever thought possible. We all have the underlying fabric to take on unpleasant or difficult situations without giving way. Believe in yourself and you’ll come out stronger on the other side. I certainly did.

10 of 50 - 1978

Inferno!

In the mid-70s, tennis was exciting and gaining popularity globally through the efforts of players such as Chris Evert, Billie Jean King, Bjorn Borg, Jimmy Connors, and John Newcombe. However, the tennis establishment received an enormous jolt of energy in 1977 with the arrival of a young, bushy-haired, and incredibly talented player named John Patrick McEnroe!

McEnroe was an unbelievable talent who, as an amateur in 1977, won the French Open Mixed Doubles title with Mary Carillo. Tennis on TV during the 70s was limited at best and often tape-delayed so I wasn’t aware or fortunate enough to see any of that match. However, Wimbledon was a different story due to its rich heritage, it was always a special event in the summer and it would be my first introduction to what would become one of my most favorite players.

Similar to Rod Laver, McEnroe was left-handed whose play around the net was nothing short of magical. He seemed to have a sixth-sense for serve and volley play. Tennis at the time was still considered an affluent sport with an air of stodginess and Wimbledon was no exception. To say McEnroe’s arrival was disruptive would be a massive understatement. Bjorn Borg was cool and calm on the outside with an internal fire whereas McEnroe was an inferno inside and out. As an 18-year-old amateur and qualifier, he would make a historic run to the semifinals before falling to Jimmy Connors in four sets. The battles to come between him and Borg still stand as the greatest matches ever played.

I was very young but witnessing his brand of tennis would forever change my view of the game. As a short kid who was a target for knuckleheads, I was already a little “punchy” and willing to go nuclear to prove I was as tough as they come. Tennis, at least to me, was a sport where you could level the playing field regardless of inconsequently factors like an individual’s height, race, background, wealth, creed, status, and so on. It’s a sport where if you can play, you can play. I would bring that same punchy determination and resolve to my game. Seeing this in McEnroe, I thought this is the way I needed to play. I loved his energy and passion and wanted to replicate it in my own game. However, I quickly learned that only a few players can take that rage inside and turn it into something positive. I wasn’t one of those players and while it took me a few years, I learned to appreciate his brand of tennis but had to pivot to a style that better suited my mindset.

To this day, I remain a huge fan of John McEnroe. He took the same passion for the game as a player to the broadcast booth and is easily the best announcer in all of sports. God never granted me the gift of being left-handed or hands like pillows that can shape the ball necessary for a true serve and volley game similar to my favorite players in Rod Laver and John McEnroe. On the other hand, I was instilled with an unparraled love for the sport. I fondly recall those epic matches between McEnroe and Borg, rewatching a few of them every year. There are so many things and players that contributed to my love for the game but none was perhaps a great as the inferno that is John McEnroe.

9 of 50 - 1977

Independence!

1976 is one of those years that stands out to me as a kid. This was the year of the United States Bicentennial, which was a series of festivities that paid tribute to historical events leading up to the creation of the United States of America as an independent republic.  Even though I was only 6 at the time, turning 7 at the end of the year and just completing kindergarten, I was blissfully excited about the jubilant party to come. It seemed every week there was some form of celebration taking place up to July 4th, the 200th anniversary of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence.

As with witnessing Nixon resign in 1974, this particular year is when I started to understand government and what it meant to be an independent country. It was also an election year that would see Jimmy Carter elected to office. While President Carter’s tenure is not viewed as highly successful in American history, what struck me most about him was his genuine kindness. One of the activities of the Bicentennial was that elementary schools across the nation participated in a mock vote and I, of course, voted for Mr. Carter. His soft-spoken, Southern drawl reminded me of my Papaw and I just knew deep down that anyone like that has to be a great person.

The biggest event of the year came on July 4th and for one brief moment in time, the entire United States celebrated together. The issues that divided us as a country seemed to take a break for that one day so that we could enjoy the foundation of independence that our forefathers provided in 1776 when they signed the declaration. Red, white, and blue were everywhere and streamers lined the streets.  I spent most of the summer with my Nanny and Papaw and a great feeling of happiness and triumph was in the air as we watched the parade in downtown Livingston. While now I see how small the town is, at the time, it was the greatest place on Earth. It was festive, fun, and there was nowhere I wanted to be more than right there with my grandparents.

This would also be the year that Bjorn Borg, a natural clay-court player, would begin his incredible run of 5 straight Wimbledon titles. Borg, whom I’ve written about previously, was like a Viking God that crashed onto the tennis scene, wielding his racquet like an ax in battle. His stardom was comparable to the meteoric rise of a rockstar. This contributed greatly to the explosive growth of tennis throughout the 1970s and early 80s and his epic battles with John McEnroe, still, rank as some of the greatest tennis ever played. More on that to come in future posts.

I struggle with events during my youth, especially in the 1970s. My parents were young and striving to find their independence. It’s quite clear they had no clue what they were doing and would often put their interests as young adults above what it took to raise a child.  That kind of environment and the stress that comes from it was not only unfair but unwarranted for such a tender mind. I will admit that I wasn’t fully aware of the potential challenges they might've been dealing with at the time. It’s not easy to be a parent and I recognize the difficulty now that I am one.

My adventures with my grandparents in Livingston turned out to be small escapes from the reality of what was taking place around me. My Nanny and Papaw weren’t perfect by any means but they provided a safe and loving environment where I was simply allowed to be a kid, unafraid to be happy. 1976 was one of those special years where I just enjoyed the massive celebration around me as well as realize, even at 6, that I too could be independent to one day, choose my path.

8 of 50 - 1976