I decided this week to write about “coming in hot”. Now this approach is applicable in many scenarios, whether it be in life, work, or sports. I’ve personally been known on many different occasions and many different scenarios to hit the room on fire. At times it has worked to my advantage but in most cases it has been an obnoxious detriment.
The term itself can also have many different interpretations. In one case you can hit a gathering with a few drinks in you and be the life of the party. However, you can also, later on at the same party, be a complete idiot lacking any semblance of self-control or awareness for those around you.
In the work environment, you may be killing it on a project and feeding off the frenzy collaboration of your coworkers by creating a positive environment. Then on the other hand, you might just join a fast-growing company from a more established one and think you have the answers for everything without taking the time to listen, learn, and recognize the great work of your new colleagues in creating this wonderful growth. In the tech industry, this happens far too often and it immediately alienates what could have been a great collaborative working relationship. Taking this approach automatically alienates those around you and creates a completely unnecessary toxic environment. Having answers or solutions without stopping to understand the landscape challenges is a very narcissistic approach. Taking this route, you automatically lose the ability to have a real connection with your colleagues. Kristin Armstrong said “Real connection and intimacy is a meal, not a sugar fix”. That couldn’t be more true in the fast-past world we live in today. We could all take a little more time to listen better to those we work with as I truly believe collaboration is the key to success. The brilliant minds of a few people working toward a common goal is a hell of lot more powerful than the single mind of one.
In sports, “coming in hot” can me a momentus driver for success. You might find yourself performing above your level by playing strong, ultimately carrying you on to victory. As a tennis player, you lock on to this when this feeling comes along and squeeze every bit of juice you can out of it. I’m not suggesting this automatically creates a positive environment. In a sport like tennis, especially playing singles, it’s just you on the court against your opponent. You are not there to make friends. You are there to win. In 1971 a rising star from Romania, Ilie Nastase was an up and comer. He was a big, strong player with long black hair and he looked like a villain. He played this part beautifully to his advantage when on the court. As a child, I was completely frightened of him. Seeing him on the television screaming at umpires, line judges, and his opponents. He used his anger and angst to his advantage. This is not an easy task and only a few players throughout tennis history have had the ability to harness their anger (aka elevated heat) to their advantage. The most notable being John McEnroe, who would crash onto the scene in 1977. More about John in my upcoming post.
However, for all my fear of Ilie Nastaste, I did have the opportunity to meet him in 1975 and he honestly shocked me. He turned out to be one of the nicest people I have ever met. He the took time to speak with me by getting down on one knee and connecting through eye contact and laughs. He recognized my fear but what made him different was that he had the self-awareness to lean in, listen, and ask a bunch of questions. The fear and image of who I thought Ilie was quickly dissipated and for those few minutes he made me feel valued as if I was the most important person in the room. It truly changed my view of him and opened my eyes to how he was using his passion to elevate his game. What he did on the court didn’t define who he was as a human being and I found deep down, he was a pretty cool individual who loved to entertain the fans.
We all have found ourselves coming in a little amp’ed up. This is not a negative but instead an opportunity to learn by stepping back and taking in the whole environment and not just the one in our direct view. Regularly being guilty of this myself, my goal this year is to listen more so that I can thoughtfully work better with those around me.
3 of 50 - 1971