Since starting this project, I have looked forward to these writing sessions every Sunday. However, this week centers on the year, 1978. This was a very difficult year as it was the year my father chose to leave. Writing about it brings back some painful thoughts and feelings that I’m still not comfortable discussing. Divorce is difficult for a child of any age but I found it especially difficult as an 8-year-old.
I didn’t understand what was going between my parents nor have they ever felt that I was an owed an explanation, even to this day. I differ in opinion about this form of parental approach as I always believed that you should be honest with your kids. I am a firm believer taking an open and honest approach with your children sets the foundation for better decision-making down the road. The wedge of resentment that was created then still lingers today, contributing to a slight lack of trust. In the end, their divorce was the right move as they were unhappy but what I feel was lost on them was the fear of abandonment it created for my brother and myself at the time. They both remarried wonderful people and were able to find the happiness they couldn’t at that time.
While all this was going on, I never stopped being a kid. It did force me into a much different situation as my brother was a toddler and we didn’t have a lot of money. However, I never let that stop me from simply embracing the carefree lifestyle of a child. I would hop on my bike and escape the reality of home as well as eagerly jettison off to my grandparents’ house, where I could play free of the anxiety of divorce.
Most of 1978 remains a blur but one thing that stands out is that this was the year the Ironman competition was born. A US Navy Commander named, John Collins, was looking to end an argument on which athlete was the fittest. He took the three biggest endurance races in Hawaii and combined them to form the first Ironman. The primary way to watch any sport in the 1970s was ABC’s Wide World of Sports and the first time I watched one of these races I couldn’t help but think they were completely crazy and saying “there is no way I’ll ever do that”. Little did I know that I too one day would be participating in Ironman races. Ironman has only gained in popularity since then. During that first race, there were 15 athletes with only 12 finishing and today it has thousands of participants.
The choice to compete in an Ironman differs from athlete to athlete. My personal decision, initially, was to provide a competitive outlet after having the first of two surgeries on my arm from tennis. After the first sprint distance race, I quickly learned that the hooks are in you for more. The sense of accomplishment of a triathlon race at any distance is incredible and while you may be in pain at the end, you find yourself already planning for the next one. Today, I choose to race in the Ironman 70.3 distance, which is commonly referred to as the “half-Ironman”. The 70.3 distance, at my age, represents a massive challenge both mentally and physically. This challenge is not just the race itself but the training that leads up to it. In fact, I have found that I enjoy the consistency and rigor of training is more satisfying than the race itself.
It takes dedication, mental fortitude, and perseverance to train but most importantly it takes the support of those around you. Ironman is not an individual sport. It is a collection of key people that help push you through the entire process. For me, that is my wife Sarah. She is the underlying motivation that encourages me to find the mental and physical balance needed to succeed in both training and race day. I am thankful for so many positive aspects Sarah brings to my life, especially the motivation in preparing for my next Ironman.
1978 may have not been the best year of my youth but I knew life would go on and I would eventually be better for it. Similar to what it takes to prepare and race for an Ironman, I would learn to persevere through hardship and the many difficult challenges life would throw at me as I got older. However, at a young age, I realized we as human beings are capable of enduring so much more than we ever thought possible. We all have the underlying fabric to take on unpleasant or difficult situations without giving way. Believe in yourself and you’ll come out stronger on the other side. I certainly did.
10 of 50 - 1978