1985 was one of those years that somewhat blurred together with those around it. I’m not certain if this was intentional or just uneventful. In the spring of 85, I was finishing my freshman year at Livingston High School, and heading into summer I was working on my lifeguard certification and once complete, I would start working at the City Pool, which was run by Nan Robbins, who was the wife of our pastor at church. Nan pretty much expected all of us in the youth group to work at the pool during the summers and honestly, it was an honor as it was a cush job, to say the least. The one area that was actual work was teaching swim lessons in the mornings, however, I didn’t mind because of the ability to sit poolside in the afternoons. It also gave me a chance to hang with a group of friends that I still keep in contact with today.
I continued to play tennis all summer as it became my sanctuary. Anytime I was feeling lost or in pain, I could just go to the courts and immediately feel a sense of inner peace. My relationship with my mother was beginning to fray at every edge and at the same time, I had a desire to get to know my father better. At the end of the summer, I made the decision to move from Livingston to Lufkin for my sophomore year. I had envisioned a chance to really know who my dad was while improving my tennis game. As I mentioned in a much earlier post, he was a really good tennis player and in my eyes, this was a perfect opportunity. While I accomplished both of these goals, I wouldn’t say this was a completely positive experience overall.
My father had a life with his wife Phyllis and her two kids, Evie and Leanna. I was coming into their home where I was an outsider. To their credit, they accepted me but it wasn’t easy on any of us. At this point in my life, I still felt the world revolved around me and it was hard to separate that ethnocentric view. On the other hand, they too were not super flexible in making changes so it sometimes boiled over. This was a difficult time and I still have trouble thinking about it today. I believe we all knew it wasn’t a fit and I honestly missed my friends back home in Livingston terribly.
While getting to know dad better, I was improving my skills in tennis. We would spend countless hours on the court and my game along with my relationship with him improved greatly. The tennis court was one area that was reserved for just us. I didn’t recognize it then but do now, that when we were at their home, he had to be all things to all members of the family. At that age, I had trouble understanding this but as I said, on the court, all seemed right.
At the end of the school year in the Spring of 86, I headed back to Livingston, home, to begin my second summer working at the pool. I also made the decision to stay versus head back to Lufkin and there was little to no resistance in that decision from all parties involved. The challenge ahead was ensuring I got along with my mother but something magical had happened while I was gone. She met Richard Carlisle, who would eventually become my stepfather during my senior year. He was a true blessing bringing peace to an otherwise chaotic situation. He chose to love me, my brother, and my mother unconditionally. Best of all, I began learning about everything. Pop, as I call him today, was a student of the world and held both a business and a pharmacy degree. He instilled in me the strategic importance of education. He also represented stability when I needed it most. I am super thankful for this along for so many other things and the lessons he taught me then and still continues to teach me today.
The one bit of historical recall I have from 85 was the release of the album “Love” by The Cult. I mentioned last week but my musical pallet was pretty diverse and my mind was completely blown the moment I heard “She Sells Sanctuary”. From the entry of this song to the end, it was incredible. In all honesty, it would take me a few years to figure out what Ian Atsbury was singing in the lyrics but I didn’t care, I loved the song anyway. It just KICKED ASS and remains in heavy rotation on my stereo today. The Cult quickly became, and still remains, one of my all-time top-5 bands. Take a listen HERE.
The decision to move back to Livingston at the end of that year set me on a positive course for where I am today. I still made a lot of mistakes in the years to come but at least the foundation was set to build upon. The lessons I learned and the hardships I endured, has helped me to tackle potential challenges I face today. Most important, when life is completely out of control, I can still just go sit on a tennis court and find peace and solace. It remains to this day, my sanctuary.
17 of 50 - 1985