Today is June 14th which happens to also be my son Luke’s, 25th birthday. It’s somewhat serendipitous that his special day falls on the same day I write my weekly post because 1991 was also the year I first became a father when my two oldest sons, Blake and Lance were born. To find yourself a dad at age 22 was not something I was prepared or ready for. However, it is, and will always remain, a defining moment in my life.
The story of how this all came about is not something I plan to discuss. That is a story only for me and my boys. I’ve always said, “don’t judge me on how I became a father but rather judge me on the father I became”. In all honesty, no one should be judging anyone because we all have unique and varying ways we grew up through the years. During this time I had to make some really difficult choices, which included leaving college after my 3rd year where I would find myself working multiple jobs just to make ends meet. I worked in construction, lifeguarded, and worked in a horse stable helping to take care of two Tennessee Walking Horses. I went from one job to the next and would fight to find any amount of sleep I could get. My life consisted of only work and sleep and I was stressed beyond belief. My grandfather would always say 'you made your bed now lie in it". This meant that my actions resulted in something bigger than me so I wasn’t allowed to change my mind. I was meant to suffer the consequences of the choices I made, even if it wasn’t convenient or easy. At 22 it was a bitter pill to swallow but I didn’t know what love was until I had children. I saw the heavy workload as something I owed them to ensure their safety and well being. At the same time, I had a desire to have fun, enjoying all the benefits of being young. This posed a real challenge at times but the reality was that I was so busy I could barely find time to eat much less party with friends. It was a life-lesson that I desperately needed to learn. One that set the foundation for many years to come.
While I was stressed during this time, I did find a lot of joy in being a dad. My good friend Bill Haecker introduced me to Lenny Kravitz that year by giving me his CD, Fields of Joy. That became my mantra as I struggled to make ends meet. I began to seek out the joy in the little things to help overcome the challenges of each day. It was a key moment in helping me realize that everything was going to be okay and it eventually was.
I know this is skipping ahead a little bit in years but as I mentioned above, today my Luke’s (son #3) birthday. It was 25 years ago today that I welcome this red-headed, freckle-face kid into my life. I love the individual personalities all four of my boys have and Luke is no exception. He came into this world with his motor running at full speed and has never stopped! He is the one kid that desired to be next to me at all times and would eventually carry the same passion I have for tennis and humor. He has a genuine love for animals and is always good for many laughs! Today, I wish him the happiest of birthdays.
As I look back on the difficult times endured during the ’90s, I smile knowing that the foundation of love was set. I find myself today a very lucky man with a lovely wife and four wonderful sons in Blake, Lance, Luke, and Scot. Always seeking out the little things, I still walk daily through the “Fields of Joy” knowing that “My Cup Runneth Over”.
23 of 50 - 1991